Climbing the walls

I came in after clearing away the snow, put my feet up at my desk and began working on my laptop then fizz... the screen went dull.



Melting snow had dripped onto the transformer connecting my laptop to the power, leaving me with just two hours of battery power to back-up my work which thankfully I did. That was the beginning.



The next step was to get a replacement, which Karin ordered from Dell... Then after a day or three no sign of the money coming out of my account to pay for the thing, so we checked the order with Dell and no sign of it. Thankfully we were able to get one locally for less dosh. Meanwhile, yours truly was suffering from computer withdrawal and not too quietly climbing the walls.

Of course I could use Karin's laptop when she wasn't using it so I could keep up with email and what-not but then Karin has a lot of work to do on her machine.  I took to making notes and using the Oxford Shorter English Dictionary for checking my spelling, which though not too hot seems better than the average college student's.

The thought occurred to me that at some point in the future we'll hear about the well-to-do having to go through rehab for laptop withdrawal.  What would happen if something was to mess up the digital infrastructure and cell phones stopped working - imagine the chaos?  No 'like' chatting on the 'like' Blackberry and worst of all, no texting!  Will the kids get over it?  Would commerce grind to a halt?

At one time Blackberrying meant going into the countryside to pick blackberries, it did not mean texting someone in a strange, almost incomprehensible language that would even have Dr. Daniel Jackson confused (one for the Stargate fans there).  If this were to be suddenly removed from the young I suspect it would be worse than taking the beer from a dorm party!  For older folk, just think of a cheese-less Wisconsin or one without Miller Light and the Packers!  I think you get the picture.

Oh the spring!

Yep we got a bit of snow and it's freezing outside, well below freezing point, but the roads are clear until the next storm hits.  It's only December and we've a way to go yet.

The Mississippi Valley with it's evergreens can  look rather striking.  Yogi and all the other bears are asleep in their caves and not scrounging for food on the outskirts, but soon the drunks will hit the streets in the run up to the Christmas season.

Now, the big question is: what happens to all that white fluffy stuff come the spring and the warmer weather?  Of course if you live outside the Mississippi Valley area that runs the length of the great dribble from Minnesota, you may not know so here's a clue...

Isn't it funny how a single picture can tell whole story?

Yep, we're not out of the woods yet and many folk will be swapping their snow shoes and skies for kayaks and rowing boats!  A few may need the assistance of a helicopter or rubber life raft while they watch their goods float off down the river to the sea.  Then you wonder where the mermaids get their furniture!

Of course we have to freeze our bums (butts) off before we reach this stage.  Hopefully the summer sun will dry us all out... before it burns us to a crisp!
At least that's what it looks like around the Campus at the different universities here in La Cross.  The young things appear to be offerings to the gods - with sun cream thrown in for good measure.  What next I wonder, another winter like this one?

Winnie

He was born in Blenheim Palace, Woodstock, Oxfordshire into the aristocratic Spencer family. Sir Winston Spencer Churchill was elected to Parliament for Oldham (my home town) in 1900 and served the town until 1906.



I have often said that Oldham exports comedians and Winnie is perhaps one of the best! This rather well known orator and Wartime leader has a few quotes attributed to him. For example:

"A joke is a very serious thing."

Indeed it is, having a major giggle is a serious matter in Oldham.

"A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Adolf would fit the bill I would imagine.

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."

The optimist in this case is the one who sees the opportunity in the difficulty of winning a war, while having a drink at the bar.

After downing a couple or three drinks a woman reportedly said to 'ol Winnie, "Sir you are drunk!" To which her replied, "Madam you are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober."

Yep, 'ol Winnie had his uses, leading Britain in the War against the Nazi tyranny and doing rather well. He inspired the British people during the Blitz, when London was singled out by Adolf for special treatment. But Adolf did not recon on the resilience of the British people. Winnie, however, knew he could rely on the people to hold out and they didn't let him down. The RAF didn't let the people down, they also held out and defeated the Luftwaffe in the Battle of Britain. Resulting in Winnie saying, "Never in the field of human conflict have so many owed so much to so few."

So okay, Sir Winston Spencer Churchill did rather well, even if he was a Conservative MP. Another Churchill quote is: "Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed."

Good thought.

Digging Out

Phew!  This took me a while, almost an hour and a half of digging.  At least I can now get out of the apartment, but how far I can venture in  the aftermath of this storm is another question.

These before and after photos should, I think tell the story.  Needless to say the old fart (me) who did all the digging was in need of a pint in the local pub - but then this is La Crosse in Wisconsin and there isn't a local pub so I had to make do with a mug of coffee and chicken soup!  A couple of pints of bitter would have been a better option, but then you can't have everything.


More Pictures


To make matters even more gloomy, Green Bay Packers lost their match.  Minnesota Vikings lost their stadium - the roof fell in with the weight of the snow on top of it.  Alternative arrangements were made for the Vikings match for Monday.  Still, despite the gloomy news, the cold outside and the lack of a decent pint of bitter beer, I can still put my feet up and dream about winning a pile of  loot on Powerball. Even if it is nothing more than a dream, I can still dream.

Guess What?

Yeah, okay, so it's snowing again. Ah! Wisconsin!  Another Midwest storm, this one full of the white fluffy stuff, or it was.  Small flakes coming down now, slight wind causing drifting snow and parts of the Coulee region of La Crosse have up to 22" already and more to come.  The forecast is even better, to our west the wind is blowing strong and conditions are already FRIGID and moving our way.  We have a blizzard warning for tonight and the local Sheriff has asked people to stay home.  Of course idiots do not think this applies to them, then go out and discover their mistake the hard way.

The photo above is courtesy of one of the TV channels in the region.  The roads are already a mess and the snow has been falling all day and is set to fall for the remainder of the night.  It should stop around sunrise if the forecasters have it right.
I managed to get out to the supermarket earlier and even then the traffic was slow with most drivers being cautious because of the road conditions.  Naturally I had to walk to the store, then on returning home clear the path, which will no doubt need doing again tomorrow.  This sucker seemed to be stationary over the top of us here, just dumping it's load.  Even though the snow plows went through three times during the day, it will be after midnight before they're back on the street.  By then driving conditions will be a nightmare, which is why the Sheriff has asked people to stay home and why I said only idiots would go out in these conditions.

After living in Wisconsin for so long one would think I'd be use to it - especially since I'm an Oldham lad and I've seen similar conditions there.  Well yes, I have seen it before.  Most years we get dumped on with snow - but I don't have to like it.  In fact I hate it, so does my arthritis!  Well you try plodding through the snow like an owd fart!

Student Protests

The Labour government, so I understand, introduced tuition fees for students.  The Lib Dems promised to get  rid of the fees if they got into government, but they didn't.  In fact they joined a coalition with the Conservative Party.  Student fees were changed slightly and made fair - but not in the eyes of the students who seem unwilling to listen to what has been explained by Paddy Ashdown and others.  Then to the shame of Britain they protest violently.
Student Protests

Whether or not it will be published, I have no idea, but I sent the following letter by email to the Guardian Newspaper:

I live in La Crosse, Wisconsin and work part time for the University of Wisconsin here in La Crosse, and I'm familiar with the fees students pay for their education in America.  Students in Britain do not pay anywhere near the same amount, yet they protest violently because of fees introduced by a Labour government and changed slightly by the present government.  They may have a right to protest, but because of the way in which they have been behaving, to the shame of Britain, I would suggest that the government TRIPPLE their fees.  These yobs do not deserve an education, so if they want one let them pay BIG time.  If they want to get violent then let them join the army where they will learn discipline and right way to conduct themselves.

 

As I have stated elsewhere, student fees in America are an arm, a leg, and your first born.  Students in Britain are lucky in comparison to students in other countries where fees apply, most especially in the USA.  Violent protests serve only to anger me to the extent that I strongly feel that their fees should be increased yet again, because these students do not deserve an education.  What they really need is a good kick in the rear by a drill sergeant!

 

Topping up

My only mode of transport can hardly be described as a five hundred horse powered super-car, it's more like a one mick-powered two wheeled transportation system - better known as a bike!  So okay there I am with night falling and streets with hard packed snow and ice in many places and I need to get my prescription filled so I don't spin in bed like a dynamo, bounce around and register point nine on the Richter scale.  It's called a seizure.  I don't remember having them - but Karin does!

There is as always a major problem, to get my prescription filled I have to cycle over to the St. Clare Health Mission and that does not open until 5pm when it's already getting dark.  Thankfully, I have rechargeable batteries in my bike lamp and a charger to keep them filled with power.  No problem there,  but riding on the streets in winter conditions at an age of 60+ is a mite risky.

Still, I can get away with being an old fart on a bike.  Kind motorists just take pity and let me through, so survival on the street is a little more assured as long as I can stay saddle bound and not go arse over tit over the handlebars!  That could be a problem.

The pair here are knackered after a trip to Milwaukee to get my "Green Card" renewed.  We hired a car for the trip and wore our backsides to the bone making the lengthy journey there and back again.  I was in the Office of Homeland Security for all of half an hour at the most - mug shot and dabs on a computer and I was legal again.  I just love being a legal alien, not because I'm free to work but because it sounds like I'm from another planet... then again, there are those who suspect I am!  My wife keeps referring to me as Alf (Alien Life Form).  Well, I am from Oldham so she's not far wrong!

Why not visit our web site Click Here

There you will find Karin's books.  She worked hard writing them and did a darn good job.

That time of year again.

Many in America refer to this time of year as "The holidays", presumably to be politically correct.  In my considered view, and taking into account all the rational pros and cons, political correctness is a load of horse shit!  Let's get a couple of things straight.  First the Jewish celebration, then the Christian:

The forces of the King of Syria desecrated the temple in Jerusalem and attempted to force the Jews to worship their god, this led to the revolt of the Maccabees. On retaking the temple it was discovered that there was just enough olive oil to light the menorah for one day. After lighting the menorah the lamps stayed ...lit for eight days - just enough time to press more olives and replace the oil. This resulted in 'the festival of lights' also known as 'Hanukkah'. Around the same time of year Christians celebrate the coming of light in the world, the coming of Jesus Christ and this is known as Christmas. It is not, 'The Holidays'. Happy Hanukkah to our Jewish brothers and sisters and happy Christmas to all Christians.




Kwanza, the festival of African heritage, is celebrated this time of year also, so happy Kwanza to all those of African descent.

Bugger 'Happy Holidays!' let's just call a spade a spade and refer to the time of year for the festival it is.  A festival of light, whether Jewish, Christian of African.  Soon we'll be seeing more daylight in our days, (Midwinter is around  the 21st December) and we can start thinking, an planning for spring and summer.

While I'm in such a positive mood, I should say that I visited the hospital this morning and it appears that I tested negative for TB.  Not exacly a surprise, but it's now been ruled out and it's one less worry.

For those unfamiliar with Spike Milligan, the following sketch may enlighten you:

Put him in the curry

Good luck to those who survive this one!  To those who do not, tough.

Hitler sings...

And this concludes our introduction to my hero!
Spike Milligan - if you didn't grap that one.

Brrrrr! What happened?

I got up this morning at the crack of noon - well it is Saturday! The sight that greeted me took me a little by surprise, but not for the reasons you think.

We heard a din last night and raised voices, this morning we discovered the reason as seen here.  Someone apparently took his car on a skating holiday and had a barney with a sign.

While the road looks clear now, last night this wasn't the case.  In fact yesterday there wasn't so much as a snowflake in sight - this lot came down overnight and the forecast is for more.

What had taken me by surprise is that I had been expecting to have to break out the snow shovel and ice melt and start shoveling snow.  However, a neighbour has a riding snow-blower and he must have gone around the block clearing the snow from the sidewalk for the entire block.  I didn't have to do anything, apart from grab Karin's camera and upload these photos.

This is Horton Street after the overnight snowfall, with the Trane building in the background on the right.  The cleared sidewalk is more visible here and with luck I shouldn't find my feet at an higher altitude than my nose should I have to take the trash out.  You may notice a few icicles on our building to the left.

At the moment I'm under house arrest (doctors orders) and I'm not allowed to go out in public.  That's a bit of a bugger!  I expect to be banging my head against the wall within the hour.  Or I may put on a yellow dress and imitate a banana just to be awkward.  Given that I'm a nut burger from Oldham I doubt that anyone will see the difference.  Then I'll probably get impossible to live with (Karin be warned) because I have to give up cigarettes, or as my dear old dad use to call them, "coffin nails."

More of the snow pictures can be found on Facebook Here

Hospital and Back before the Snow

Okay, so I've seen the X-ray and CT scan of my lungs, a light amount of emphysema and calcification of my lungs, mainly my right lung - pity though, it wasn't in 3D colour, I suppose you can't have everything.  I don't suppose my 'Spike Milligan' attitude was much help either especially since I gained 5lbs and shrunk an inch.  Now they have to test me for tuberculosis (TB) so they can rule it out - there's a bugger!  The nurse pushed a needle under my skin filled with some kind of clear fluid and remarked that most people don't like to see the needle going in.  Well, they can feel it so what's wrong with watching it do it's thing.  I ended up with a welt that looks like a bug sting, now it's turned red - big deal.  I can't be around people and if I am I have to wear a mask.  I look like a skinny burglar!

This guy stopped by to see if I was interested in a position as a crew member.  He said I'd be an ideal candidate with my scraggy appearance and face mask.  He did mention something about sword play and poor pay.  Nevertheless, I would get to see plenty of exotic places and strange people rather like himself.  I declined his offer but thanked him for thinking of me.

I may be unemployed for the moment but desperate I am not.  However, I'm happy that Karin and I managed to get home before the snow began to fall.  Some places have already had five to seven inches, which for our neck of the woods isn't too bad.

Just to our north the snow can get a tad deeper as you can see in this pic.  The  lady who phoned the cops to report the theft of her snowman would not of bothered if she lived in Canada.

I suppose with a scarf wrapped about my mush, no bugger will notice my face mask - as long as I'm not mistaken for an illegal immigrant or a Zorro reject from back when movies were in black and white.

This reminds me of the old joke we use to tell as kids. A Jamaican crossing the road at a Zebra crossing, it's a case of now you see him, now you don't. Now you see him, now you don't.  At the time we thought it was funny and I suppose Jamaicans told the same joke because a Zebra crossing is white as well as black - but in their case it would be the Englishman crossing the road.  Pity that liberal, politically polite morons have no sense of humour.  Even in Oldham, the ale cannot help them acquire the necessary humour to survive.  Well that's it for another day.

Oldham Turns White

It's true!  The place that was once described as the home of dark, satanic mills with soot and grime blackening the stone buildings has turned white.

This able bodied Oldham lad is on his way to work - he forgot the dogs, but with Oldham being a town full of hills getting down some of them isn't a problem - getting back up again is.  Then again, the pubs are open so by the time he gets to the top of the hill he'll not care too much.  You may notice the right boot sticking out, this is the right hand turn signal to enter the pub's car park - or sledge park if you will.



Dobcross, like all the villages in the Saddleworth area faced blizzard conditions, with the Huddersfield Canal frozen and covered in snow. The Oldham Evening Chronicle reported:

SNOW could ease by the end of this week but Oldham will continue to battle sub-zero temperatures as the big freeze takes hold. 

 The Chron went on to report:

As the mercury tumbled to -2.8C overnight, snow showers blanketed the borough, turning village squares into picture postcard scenes. 

 Of course Dobcross, opposite, is well lit up with most people wrapped up warm in their homes or wrapped up warm in the local boozer.


 We are supposed to be use to it in Oldham, and I suppose to some extent we are.  The town is hardly at sea level, being at the foot of the Pennines with many villages like Dobcross, Denshaw, Diggle, Uppermill and Greenfield actually being  in the Pennines, so there's a tendency for the town to attract cold weather, so much so that Penguins have been reported in some of the towns reservoirs frozen solid for the winter.  When you see Polar Bears crossing the street in Diggle, you know it's either too cold or you've had too much in the Hare and Hounds!

So to my American friends in Wisconsin who have often queried whether or not we get snow in my home town, I would suggest that the answer would be in the affirmative.  Oldham folk may be critical of the local authority, but that comes with the turf - who actually likes politicians and the officials who serve them?  Nevertheless, the boys and girls at the sharp end of keeping Oldham's roads free of snow and ice do a good job in difficult conditions.

If my brother Kev, who is well over 6' in height, can see over the snow then the buses will keep running because the gritters will still get through.  Mind you, I wish they'd stop using him as a measuring rod!

Just back from the doc.  It seems I've a touch of cancer, and I don't mean the constellation.  My response to hearing the news was a single word: "Bugger!"

It isn't as bad as it sounds, they may wish to do a biopsy to find out how to treat it, but it can be treated.  The one thing I find annoying about all this is that I went to the docs with a cough!  Now if I had have stuck with Halls Vapor Action Spearmint I may never have discovered this.  Oh yes!  The doc gave me antibiotics and they cleared the cough!  Now you may understand the exclamation, "Bugger!"

Novemberrrrr again!

It's Cold Again

As usual, the weather is gripping the news but this time on both sides of the pond.  The kind of snowfall that we often get in Wisconsin, just after the ducks and geese take the greyhound bus south for the winter because flying can be dangerous, especially with the threat of hijacks and the TSA insisting that they go through a body scanner before take off.  Even the ducks and geese are more than a little annoyed about the over the top security arrangements.

Local Drama
Okay, so I've been happily plodding along a footpath (American - sidewalk) and quite suddenly found my feet at a higher altitude from the ground than my head and the one thought on my mind has been "Oh bugger!".  There's nothing like black-ice to encourage arse-over-tit adventures while on the way to or from work.  In England I prefer from work because I can always pop into the pub for a pick-me-up that tastes suspiciously like a Scotch!  Followed by a pint it's a case of black-ice, who cares? (photo - view from home last year)


Teens may well be able to dodge around computer programs, rattle off the latest theories and talk totally incomprehensible, like if you like know what I mean like?  In winter, however, any indication of common sense seems to leak out of their left ear.  On one occasion I was waiting for a bus in my home town of Oldham on a freezing cold evening, so cold that the Polar Bears were complaining!  A taxi pulled up across the street and two girls emerged dressed in next to nothing - as if they had just alighted from the flight from the Bahamas, but no this was Oldham and they were almost naked!  The two girls ran into the pub more than likely to top up on anti-freeze.  They had to be a couple of cans short of a six pack to be dressed like that!

Okay, so it's Novemberrrr and we have the rrrrest of the winterrrr ahead of us.  Oh heaven help us.  The fun has only just begun.

Dumb Thieves

The BBC reported the following:

Police in Greater Manchester caught a pair of suspected thieves after they followed a trail of frozen water leaking from a stolen boiler.

Officers were called to reports of a break-in at a house in Firs Lane, Leigh, at about 0150 GMT on Monday.
When they arrived, they saw the boiler had been taken from the kitchen - but it had dripped water which had frozen in a trail leading to a nearby house.
Two men were arrested on suspicion of burglary.
The men, aged 38 and 29, remain in police custody for questioning.

Nicking stuff is not a clever career move in the first place and this pair seem to have discovered this.  Of course Britain is gripped by a freeze with lots of snow on the ground and more to come.  Not exactly a good time to commit burglary - especially when there are tracks for the cops to follow.

How not to Park a Gritter!

So okay, the snow is bad and the driver of this gritter learned just how bad the snow can be.  It'll teach him not to text his teenage daughter while driving a truck - or a tank - was it the same guy? 



You know what they say about the last laugh, well we're getting a little of the white fluffy stuff now.  I lost count of the number of times a Wisconsin resident asked me if we get snow in England, I replied, "Er... Yes!"
Talk about understatements!

I suppose with thoughts of snow and ice we may soon get into the habit of sucking a polo mint (American - lifesaver) and dreaming about the low-cut tops and tiny skirts of summer!  Well, I will.  I can't speak for the ladies and no doubt my wife will have something to say about that.

Oops... she read my mind... INCOMING!

Ouch!

Chicken Dinner

Why is the news always bad?  I've just heard from my brother Kev that my brother Austin's chickens got scoffed by a fox!  What I want to know is, what on earth is a fox doing in Chadderton killing my brother's hens?  Okay, so it tucked into an early Christmas dinner, but let's hope the bugger isn't back to wolf down some poor sods canary!

1755 a tsunami of 8' in height hit Penzance but did little damage.  Karin and I have been looking at houses there but the idea of being washed away by a super-high tide is not too appealing to me, even if it is a nice location.  Although it's way south of the Watford Gap, on the plus side the weather is a lot milder and the next tsunami (estimated to be around 200' in height) would give  us a fish eye view of the sea, unless  of course we are on high ground - very high ground!

I'm happy to say that the antibiotics worked and my chest infection and cough have gone.  Folk are not giving me a wide birth now, not that I could blame them, it's good to get it off my chest!

It is such a shame that the Arc Royal is being retired along with it's Harriers, that's one great carrier and a great aircraft.  Some older folk like me will no doubt remember the Harrier's roll in the Falkland's crisis when Argentina seized the islands and Britain took them back.  Although the Migs were faster, the Harrier ate them for breakfast

RIP Arc Royal.  I'm sure the crew are all proud to serve on such a fine ship with a great history.  As time marches on, perhaps we'll not forget.

No more smoke stack.

From what I understand of the medical jargon, I seem to have a touch of Emphysema and calcification of my right lung.  I've to see a pulmonologist next week (some kind of blood doctor - not Dracula or a Pullman train).  My guess is that I'll be advised to give up imitating a smoke stack (cough splutter).

Easier said than done, as many smoke stack imitators will tell you.  At least I'll not have to keep going outside to smoke - it's getting cold here.  Awakened yesterday morning by thunder and hail about half the size of a golf-ball hitting the window.  It even took the weather forecasters by surprise - they didn't see that one coming.  A couple of EF 1 tornadoes did some damage as well.  Makes smoke stack imitators like me nervous!

The rug and the rest of Karin's on-line order arrived.  Just like Christmas doing the unpacking, it's a nice rug and just what we needed for the living room.  I've new jeans that fit perfectly and again they arrived just at the right time when the weather is starting to get colder.  I must admit that I get worried when I see Inuit heading south - that's always a bad sign.  They're blowing fake snow over Mt. La  Crosse for the ski season and usually when that happens the real  thing falls in quantity a short time later.  I've the snow shovel ready, but I get the feeling I'll be needing blasting powder just to get the kitchen door open so I can take the trash out.

Thoughts are for warmer days in warmer places, while the central heating keeps the apartment at a reasonable temperature - somewhere well above freezing!  I'm not terribly keen on waking up with frost on my nuggets.  Time to sign off... NCIS just started on TV...

Not quite an armfull

Well, off to the hospital I did go to have a blood test (not quite an armful) and a CT scan to find out what I have wrong with my lungs.  A nodule appeared on an X-Ray and the doc wants to know what it is - is it serious or nothing at all.  Of course I'm hoping for the latter rather than the former, but if it is serious the best it will get from me is, "Bugger!"

If by serious they mean popping my clogs, that's nothing in comparison with facing whopping Obama hospital bills for some operation or other.  If by "serious" they mean snuffing it - the only thing about that is leaving Karin having to deal with the problems of day to day life and that bothers me.  So if there isn't anything wrong it will be a relief - otherwise I would find it a bit irritating.

So why does it appear I'm not worried about curling up  my toes?  Easy!  If there's one thing certain in my life it's my death.  Some day I'll become Mick Cook the Spook - deaded all over.  At least I'll snuff it with my faith intact and that's all that matters; I may grow old and knackered, but faith does not because like all things spiritual it transcends the limitations of the physical realm.

I think I'll spend some time praying that God will let me come back to annoy those civic leaders and politicians who interfere with Christian beliefs - not so much to haunt them, but to give them such a fright it could bring about a change of heart and mind.  For example, when they're all gathered together I'll have the angels make the clothes of the politicians disappear, then I'll say to them, "Hello boys and girls - this is how you will appear before God, with nothing hidden!"

Then again, I have to remember that I'd have to be obedient to the will of God, nevertheless, God does have a sense of humour.  How do I know that? Simple, God made everything that is good and we all know that a decent sense of humour is good - so humour is from God.  Listen to what children say about the bible and you will have all the proof you will need.

High as a Duck!

If you're touring France and you pop into a restaurant with Duck on the menu, check if it's from Michel Rouyer's farm before you decide to scoff the meal.  Why?  Well, the farmer got into a fix for feeding his ducks cannabis... I kid you not.  He claimed it got rid of worms and he had the healthiest ducks in France.

 Now to me this quacker seems as high as a kite - and it hasn't even left the ground!  Oh yes, the farmer who grew the plant on his farm also admitted he smoked the odd joint.  Big surprise!

So if you are in that restaurant and you tuck into a Duck Dinner, you'd better have a designated driver at the ready.  Sure, you can try explaining to the police officer stopping you from going the wrong way around the Arc De Triomphe, "Honest guv... All I had was duck and a glass of water!  Why do you sound like Inspector Clouseau?"  Now that could get you into a lot of difficulty with the French Police, especially if you did a Peter Sellers imitation of a French cop!  And all this because a French farmer fed his ducks cannabis!

Now I did warn you the other day that I'm from Oldham and my home town exports comedians, so I do have this tendency to see the funny side of life.  Well why not?  What's the point if you can't have a good laugh.  Watch it Obama, you're on my list.

Downloading Blues!

I've just downloaded windows Explorer 8 and it took a while, not only because the thing took it's time, but other programs wanted in on the downloading.  Updates for this program and for that!  By the time it was done I'd missed my dinner.

Now the real fun begins: will the programs work?  They may well work - at least for those with a degree in computer science who can somehow understand the gobbledygook that often accompanies the instructions.  I thought that HTML meant, "Heck, This Mother's Loose" meaning a screw on my laptop before it went toes up.  Others tell me differently, HTML doesn't mean that.

Little brother (Kev) meaning younger rather than smaller, the sod is over 6' and while he may not tower over me, he can make me feel small.

In the picture, Kev is sitting on the wall of a castle overlooking a Welsh village.  He and my brother Austin (Aussie) were touring Wales with Karin and myself.

Yep, Kev and Austin are Oldham  born and that means trouble if you haven't got a sense of humour.  Aussie likes to tell stories - the taller the better.  He once convinced a woman he was working with that he was building a robot to replace her and her colleagues.  He was actually wiring a controller for a laundry press.
Maybe I'll introduce you to the mob... sorry, family members later.  Right now I'm hungry after all that downloading!

Welcome to my Blog

This old guy has been around a little.  I was born in the North West of Britain, lived in the Republic of Ireland for nine years or so and now I'm married and living in Wisconsin, USA.  I've learned that most people are decent folk, reasonably easy to get along with and unlikely to be a problem - but there are exceptions.  The loud, aggressive nutters show up anywhere, sober or staggering down the street as if their legs lack bone, but perhaps it has gone to their heads!

Blogging, as such is a new concept to me and whether I'll keep it up remains a question that only time will answer.  I suppose it will be a case of watch this space and see what happens.  My wife Karin's Blog and this one can also be accessed through our web site: The Cook Companies

Watching the news the other day, I was struck by the objections people were expressing to the airport body scanners and new security measures.  I thought maybe one answer to that would be to arrive at the airport completely naked and have done with it!  If we were to all travel naked by air - where would the terrorist hide the tools of his trade?  Now if you think I'm serious you are more nuts than I am - and that's saying summat!  When I am serious about something I'll let you know.

As I said above, I'm from the North West of Britain - Oldham to be precise - a town that manufactures and exports comedians.  Having a sense of humour may not be necessary to live in Oldham, but it certainly helps and there's no question about that.

This is what happened when an Oldham lad parked his tank!!

I hope ye all get the message!