Novemberrrrr again!

It's Cold Again

As usual, the weather is gripping the news but this time on both sides of the pond.  The kind of snowfall that we often get in Wisconsin, just after the ducks and geese take the greyhound bus south for the winter because flying can be dangerous, especially with the threat of hijacks and the TSA insisting that they go through a body scanner before take off.  Even the ducks and geese are more than a little annoyed about the over the top security arrangements.

Local Drama
Okay, so I've been happily plodding along a footpath (American - sidewalk) and quite suddenly found my feet at a higher altitude from the ground than my head and the one thought on my mind has been "Oh bugger!".  There's nothing like black-ice to encourage arse-over-tit adventures while on the way to or from work.  In England I prefer from work because I can always pop into the pub for a pick-me-up that tastes suspiciously like a Scotch!  Followed by a pint it's a case of black-ice, who cares? (photo - view from home last year)


Teens may well be able to dodge around computer programs, rattle off the latest theories and talk totally incomprehensible, like if you like know what I mean like?  In winter, however, any indication of common sense seems to leak out of their left ear.  On one occasion I was waiting for a bus in my home town of Oldham on a freezing cold evening, so cold that the Polar Bears were complaining!  A taxi pulled up across the street and two girls emerged dressed in next to nothing - as if they had just alighted from the flight from the Bahamas, but no this was Oldham and they were almost naked!  The two girls ran into the pub more than likely to top up on anti-freeze.  They had to be a couple of cans short of a six pack to be dressed like that!

Okay, so it's Novemberrrr and we have the rrrrest of the winterrrr ahead of us.  Oh heaven help us.  The fun has only just begun.

Dumb Thieves

The BBC reported the following:

Police in Greater Manchester caught a pair of suspected thieves after they followed a trail of frozen water leaking from a stolen boiler.

Officers were called to reports of a break-in at a house in Firs Lane, Leigh, at about 0150 GMT on Monday.
When they arrived, they saw the boiler had been taken from the kitchen - but it had dripped water which had frozen in a trail leading to a nearby house.
Two men were arrested on suspicion of burglary.
The men, aged 38 and 29, remain in police custody for questioning.

Nicking stuff is not a clever career move in the first place and this pair seem to have discovered this.  Of course Britain is gripped by a freeze with lots of snow on the ground and more to come.  Not exactly a good time to commit burglary - especially when there are tracks for the cops to follow.

How not to Park a Gritter!

So okay, the snow is bad and the driver of this gritter learned just how bad the snow can be.  It'll teach him not to text his teenage daughter while driving a truck - or a tank - was it the same guy? 



You know what they say about the last laugh, well we're getting a little of the white fluffy stuff now.  I lost count of the number of times a Wisconsin resident asked me if we get snow in England, I replied, "Er... Yes!"
Talk about understatements!

I suppose with thoughts of snow and ice we may soon get into the habit of sucking a polo mint (American - lifesaver) and dreaming about the low-cut tops and tiny skirts of summer!  Well, I will.  I can't speak for the ladies and no doubt my wife will have something to say about that.

Oops... she read my mind... INCOMING!

Ouch!

Chicken Dinner

Why is the news always bad?  I've just heard from my brother Kev that my brother Austin's chickens got scoffed by a fox!  What I want to know is, what on earth is a fox doing in Chadderton killing my brother's hens?  Okay, so it tucked into an early Christmas dinner, but let's hope the bugger isn't back to wolf down some poor sods canary!

1755 a tsunami of 8' in height hit Penzance but did little damage.  Karin and I have been looking at houses there but the idea of being washed away by a super-high tide is not too appealing to me, even if it is a nice location.  Although it's way south of the Watford Gap, on the plus side the weather is a lot milder and the next tsunami (estimated to be around 200' in height) would give  us a fish eye view of the sea, unless  of course we are on high ground - very high ground!

I'm happy to say that the antibiotics worked and my chest infection and cough have gone.  Folk are not giving me a wide birth now, not that I could blame them, it's good to get it off my chest!

It is such a shame that the Arc Royal is being retired along with it's Harriers, that's one great carrier and a great aircraft.  Some older folk like me will no doubt remember the Harrier's roll in the Falkland's crisis when Argentina seized the islands and Britain took them back.  Although the Migs were faster, the Harrier ate them for breakfast

RIP Arc Royal.  I'm sure the crew are all proud to serve on such a fine ship with a great history.  As time marches on, perhaps we'll not forget.

No more smoke stack.

From what I understand of the medical jargon, I seem to have a touch of Emphysema and calcification of my right lung.  I've to see a pulmonologist next week (some kind of blood doctor - not Dracula or a Pullman train).  My guess is that I'll be advised to give up imitating a smoke stack (cough splutter).

Easier said than done, as many smoke stack imitators will tell you.  At least I'll not have to keep going outside to smoke - it's getting cold here.  Awakened yesterday morning by thunder and hail about half the size of a golf-ball hitting the window.  It even took the weather forecasters by surprise - they didn't see that one coming.  A couple of EF 1 tornadoes did some damage as well.  Makes smoke stack imitators like me nervous!

The rug and the rest of Karin's on-line order arrived.  Just like Christmas doing the unpacking, it's a nice rug and just what we needed for the living room.  I've new jeans that fit perfectly and again they arrived just at the right time when the weather is starting to get colder.  I must admit that I get worried when I see Inuit heading south - that's always a bad sign.  They're blowing fake snow over Mt. La  Crosse for the ski season and usually when that happens the real  thing falls in quantity a short time later.  I've the snow shovel ready, but I get the feeling I'll be needing blasting powder just to get the kitchen door open so I can take the trash out.

Thoughts are for warmer days in warmer places, while the central heating keeps the apartment at a reasonable temperature - somewhere well above freezing!  I'm not terribly keen on waking up with frost on my nuggets.  Time to sign off... NCIS just started on TV...

Not quite an armfull

Well, off to the hospital I did go to have a blood test (not quite an armful) and a CT scan to find out what I have wrong with my lungs.  A nodule appeared on an X-Ray and the doc wants to know what it is - is it serious or nothing at all.  Of course I'm hoping for the latter rather than the former, but if it is serious the best it will get from me is, "Bugger!"

If by serious they mean popping my clogs, that's nothing in comparison with facing whopping Obama hospital bills for some operation or other.  If by "serious" they mean snuffing it - the only thing about that is leaving Karin having to deal with the problems of day to day life and that bothers me.  So if there isn't anything wrong it will be a relief - otherwise I would find it a bit irritating.

So why does it appear I'm not worried about curling up  my toes?  Easy!  If there's one thing certain in my life it's my death.  Some day I'll become Mick Cook the Spook - deaded all over.  At least I'll snuff it with my faith intact and that's all that matters; I may grow old and knackered, but faith does not because like all things spiritual it transcends the limitations of the physical realm.

I think I'll spend some time praying that God will let me come back to annoy those civic leaders and politicians who interfere with Christian beliefs - not so much to haunt them, but to give them such a fright it could bring about a change of heart and mind.  For example, when they're all gathered together I'll have the angels make the clothes of the politicians disappear, then I'll say to them, "Hello boys and girls - this is how you will appear before God, with nothing hidden!"

Then again, I have to remember that I'd have to be obedient to the will of God, nevertheless, God does have a sense of humour.  How do I know that? Simple, God made everything that is good and we all know that a decent sense of humour is good - so humour is from God.  Listen to what children say about the bible and you will have all the proof you will need.

High as a Duck!

If you're touring France and you pop into a restaurant with Duck on the menu, check if it's from Michel Rouyer's farm before you decide to scoff the meal.  Why?  Well, the farmer got into a fix for feeding his ducks cannabis... I kid you not.  He claimed it got rid of worms and he had the healthiest ducks in France.

 Now to me this quacker seems as high as a kite - and it hasn't even left the ground!  Oh yes, the farmer who grew the plant on his farm also admitted he smoked the odd joint.  Big surprise!

So if you are in that restaurant and you tuck into a Duck Dinner, you'd better have a designated driver at the ready.  Sure, you can try explaining to the police officer stopping you from going the wrong way around the Arc De Triomphe, "Honest guv... All I had was duck and a glass of water!  Why do you sound like Inspector Clouseau?"  Now that could get you into a lot of difficulty with the French Police, especially if you did a Peter Sellers imitation of a French cop!  And all this because a French farmer fed his ducks cannabis!

Now I did warn you the other day that I'm from Oldham and my home town exports comedians, so I do have this tendency to see the funny side of life.  Well why not?  What's the point if you can't have a good laugh.  Watch it Obama, you're on my list.

Downloading Blues!

I've just downloaded windows Explorer 8 and it took a while, not only because the thing took it's time, but other programs wanted in on the downloading.  Updates for this program and for that!  By the time it was done I'd missed my dinner.

Now the real fun begins: will the programs work?  They may well work - at least for those with a degree in computer science who can somehow understand the gobbledygook that often accompanies the instructions.  I thought that HTML meant, "Heck, This Mother's Loose" meaning a screw on my laptop before it went toes up.  Others tell me differently, HTML doesn't mean that.

Little brother (Kev) meaning younger rather than smaller, the sod is over 6' and while he may not tower over me, he can make me feel small.

In the picture, Kev is sitting on the wall of a castle overlooking a Welsh village.  He and my brother Austin (Aussie) were touring Wales with Karin and myself.

Yep, Kev and Austin are Oldham  born and that means trouble if you haven't got a sense of humour.  Aussie likes to tell stories - the taller the better.  He once convinced a woman he was working with that he was building a robot to replace her and her colleagues.  He was actually wiring a controller for a laundry press.
Maybe I'll introduce you to the mob... sorry, family members later.  Right now I'm hungry after all that downloading!

Welcome to my Blog

This old guy has been around a little.  I was born in the North West of Britain, lived in the Republic of Ireland for nine years or so and now I'm married and living in Wisconsin, USA.  I've learned that most people are decent folk, reasonably easy to get along with and unlikely to be a problem - but there are exceptions.  The loud, aggressive nutters show up anywhere, sober or staggering down the street as if their legs lack bone, but perhaps it has gone to their heads!

Blogging, as such is a new concept to me and whether I'll keep it up remains a question that only time will answer.  I suppose it will be a case of watch this space and see what happens.  My wife Karin's Blog and this one can also be accessed through our web site: The Cook Companies

Watching the news the other day, I was struck by the objections people were expressing to the airport body scanners and new security measures.  I thought maybe one answer to that would be to arrive at the airport completely naked and have done with it!  If we were to all travel naked by air - where would the terrorist hide the tools of his trade?  Now if you think I'm serious you are more nuts than I am - and that's saying summat!  When I am serious about something I'll let you know.

As I said above, I'm from the North West of Britain - Oldham to be precise - a town that manufactures and exports comedians.  Having a sense of humour may not be necessary to live in Oldham, but it certainly helps and there's no question about that.

This is what happened when an Oldham lad parked his tank!!

I hope ye all get the message!